The trouble with working on rare and desirable vehicles is that I always get a raging case of the "I wants". Every time I drive to and from Malc's in my incredibly reliable, practical and boring Insignia I often feel a bit down. Nearly all my life I have had an obsession with nice cars, it started when I was 8 years old and my eldest Brother, John, came home with a brand new 4.2 litre Jag XJ6 in leaky botty brown. It had leather and electric windows and this thing called air conditioning. It was nearly silent, rode like a magic carpet and went like nothing else my developing brain had ever experienced before - my folks had a 1300 Cortina at the time. I still remember the number plate - JPL444K. I also remember the time he parked it outside his house and it caught fire, they took the remains away and gave him another one. Anyway, I digress, I have had a number of Jags since then, a series 2 XJ, a couple or 3 XJ40's, a 4.2 S Type, a disastrous xf diesel and my peak Jag - a 2001 XJR supercharged monster. That one was Paramount Performance tuned with a straight through exhaust and smaller supercharger pulley, it had the 155 MPH speed limiter disabled and was tuned to about 440 BHP. I have had a couple of Range Rovers and a Porsche Cayenne 455 BHP twin turbo job that delighted at every prod of the throttle. Perhaps the most fun car I ever owned was an MG Montego turbo that had been very heavily modified and would humiliate just about anything and everything. Now I have an Insignia diesel. Don't get me wrong, it's a really good car. I have owned it for 18 months, it cost just 2 grand, it has never let me down, the last mot needed just two shocks at 50 quid and a pair of tyres. It's quiet, comfortable, easy to drive, it does everything you could want of a car and with tax at just 35 quid per year and over 60 MPG on a run it is the most sensible car I could possibly own right now.
The only real problem is that I never have and never will do sensible. Doing sensible makes me sad. Doing sensible is for people with nasal voices, 3 children and a very tidy house and garden. It's for Mondeo man. I am retired now, I took early retirement as I am diabetic and with that comes all sorts of life ending shit that doesn't bear thinking about. It is reckoned that it takes 6-10 years off your lifespan on average so the way I see it there is no time to waste. I have been prudent, I have a private pension, the government allows me to keep some of the money that I have already been taxed on once, if I save it they will just tax me some more. Yeah they will tax me a load more on a second car, even though I can only use one at a time and the petrol usage is enthusiastic to say the least. Running costs are nowhere near as bad as some might think but only if you can do your own work. The prices at Bentley dealer or independent specialists can be eye watering. A 3/8 UNF nut that I know I can buy for about 10p each is over a fiver at a well known supplier of Rolls and Bentley parts, the OEM nut in it's nice little bag is best part of 20 quid after VAT and Postman Pat have added their bits on. Fuck that. There are hydraulic pumps that often fail - 300 quid each plus the same again in labour. They fail because of 2 o rings - you can get all 4 for under a quid, there's a cheat you can do that means the job takes an hour. Even if you do a full rebuild on them it's only about 3 hours and under 20 quid.
Anyway, I discussed it with Mrs Dave, after she stopped crying she started to see some advantages, the main one being it would get me out of her hair for a very long time. She likes the high driving position, the picnic tables in the back and the arm rests. I think secretly she rather likes the idea of having something special again. The budget has been agreed, as have the caveats, now it's a matter of finding the right one.
As far as spec goes the earliest versions date back to 1985, the last cars left the Crewe production line in 1999, it is often said that the cars are like a fine vintage wine, there are good years and bad years. I like the later cars, the earlier ones had a column gear change that I always felt made the cars look too American, I much prefer the console mounted selector of the later models. They also had a better gearbox - 4 speed instead of 3, it was also switchable between sport and normal modes. I'm also not a fan of the early models steering wheels, I just think they look a bit crappy and are rather thin, I prefer a thicker wheel, they just feel better. They have airbags in the later ones too, which is a bonus, although I wouldn't trust a 30 odd year old bag to work too well. Maybe I will just try not to drive into things instead. Yes, that would be best.
Having done a ton of research I have concluded that the best years for me are 1993 or 1994. As well as the obvious upgrades, slightly less frightening fuel consumption and better chance of finding one that isn't knackered, some problems with earlier cars were well and truly fixed by then. I have found one that is only about 1 1/2 hours drive from here but I am going on holiday tomorrow so can't get to see it, I hope he still has it when we get back. If he hasn't it doesn't matter there will be other opportunities but the chances of finding another close enough to go and look at are quite slim. I can't think of the last time I saw one round here, if ever. The example I have seen ticks all the boxes, it's only done 88,000 miles so is nearly run in now, it's in a beautiful dark blue colour, the name of which I do not know. I like to think it's something like Royal Blue, or Windsor Castle Blue, or maybe Westminster blue. It's bound to be something like that rather than Barnsley or Blackpool blue. Anyway I will do an update after me holibobs, the whole principle of the thing has me quite excited.
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